It’s been a year since I started this blog in anger and disgust at the dishonesty, the manipulation, the lies, the deceit. I was angry, not hateful at Mom suggested, but oh so angry at their self-righteous and so completely non-Jewish interpretation of my religion. How dare they think they can preach to others while being so ignorant and so incredibly fake?
No, I wasn’t Mr. Hateful – I never was…but I was angry and betrayed and this blog seemed like a great way to strike back at Mom’s incredible ego and selfishness, her stupidity in her interpretations of Judaism (I mean…she had someone pour hot lead on her head…sheesh).
Amazingly enough, despite all the Mom and the Aunts had done to harm my business, my name – good friends assured me they were nothing, that I was wrong to listen to worry to hesitate. Experts in the field laughed at Auntie K. and her attempts to call herself an expert. She’s being laughed at by the very people she claims to be her friends. They chat on Facebook, interact in Twitter, and then tell me what a moron she is.
Slowly, so slowly, more slowly than my colleagues anticipated…I have finally come to accept, to move on, to believe again in myself, my business, my place in my community of experts in the field. Mom can retweet all she wants – and yet she’s not recognized by anyone for anything. I am the one who gets the free software year after year in appreciation for what I do…all while Mom hits a retweet button and pretends. Slowly, I have learned – it is not just me. They see too.
It has been a wonderful year in so many ways, personally, professionally. My son finished the army – safely and blessed. He fought in a war, served on our borders and protected our land. My second son entered a combat unit as well, showing his dedication as well. While Mom has continued to wallow in herself, I suddenly realized in the last few days that I have come out of a tunnel she built and would have entombed me in forever.
It was her tunnel, her hatred, her blind selfishness and greed that started this and her destructive nature that compounded it all. She who tried to destroy by willfully and maliciously deleting my client files; she who stole my client with lies and deceit. They who attempted to ruin my business and God, in His infinite and wise ways…has shown His contempt while Mom talks about sodium and dirt.
She thought she could write a blog and attack me. She thought people would care about her endless whining, her shingles and rashes and God, how sickening it was to read her endless complaints.
And all this time, over the past year of her rants and pathetic self-absorption, as I would occasionally turn to see what she was complaining about now, I was reading a friend’s blog as she chronicled her struggle with cancer. Mom whined; my friend fought. Mom said she was brave…my friend proved it. Mom focused on herself; my friend focused on her family, her children, her country and her friends.
My friend died last week, leaving three young children to grow up without a mother…all while Mom endlessly talks about sodium and herself. But somewhere in my friend dying…a part of me was reborn.
It was the part that Mom and the Aunts tried to destroy – my love for my business, my career, my colleagues. In the last two weeks, so thankfully, my business has begun again to prosper. I’ve had four different project contacts including a new line of business that amazingly seems to pay very well and three contacts there alone!
We’ve started a new round of courses – including a brand new topic. People are coming, calling, engaging, hiring.
My son is getting married; and more good news in the family that I’m not yet ready to write about. Family visits from the States soon, and more.
All in all, what Mom and the Aunts took from me a year ago has been returned – my confidence in myself and in others.
I will trust again – because I understand the flaw was in these pathetic women and not in me. It was in their lack of decency, honesty, and the more that Aunt K claims she is an expert and the more Mom rants about herself and her endless whining…the more I am reborn, the more I join my friends at laughing and snickering at their pathetic attempts.
So Mom’s son went into the Israeli army a short time ago and my first thought was to laugh. She deems herself an expert in the army now – enough to compare the US army with the Israeli army – please. And then I really did laugh. He’s a jobnik, woman. Given some pathetic job so he can run home to mommy. A charity case of the State because they didn’t know what to do with him given his burdens at home…that’s what the State sees in Mom – a burden. Sheesh. This is not a soldier of Israel, but a babysitting position until they can send him back to mommy.
Of course, there are jobniks that do important jobs – amazingly important jobs in our army that keep the army going – that is most certainly not the case with Mom’s son. There are those who learn skills…and those who sift the rice. Those who guard our country and those who walk for 8 hours a day and go home so that the country can dismiss him without completely ignoring him.
From what she describes, her son’s army service is about akin to her suffering – and the Aunt’s real abilities -all blown up to impress, to lie, to deceive. No wonder she’s so enamored with her knowledge of the American army…she knows nothing of the Israeli army and the challenges it faces every day.
And yet, for the first time in a year, I can laugh at her stupidity and I can focus back on the good, the just, the real world.
One of the stars of social media has agreed to be a keynote speaker at our upcoming conference next year…
Three huge projects with one client…and promises of more.
A full-time job for one writer for a month…
A full-time job, long-term for another…
An interesting part-time project with another client…
A full-time job for one of our students for another…
A son getting married…
Another surprise around the corner…
Two meetings with two potential new clients next week…and one tomorrow morning as well!
And a reminder that life is good, that God cares and rewards us with what we deserve – for the good…and for the bad. It’s been a year since I started this blog. Where I am now is so much closer to who I was before I had the great misfortune of having met Mom and the Aunts and learned their true nature.
I don’t know if I’ll continue this blog or not. I guess it depends on whether Mom dares write about anything other than her sodium level. But it seemed fitting to come back here, one week after my brave friend passed away to the world to come. Her sickness was not, I believe a punishment of God, but a challenge. She taught others, graced us with so much. Over a thousand people came to her funeral, dozens blogged in her memory.
Perhaps that is the worth of a person – when all is said and done – do they remember the bravery or the sodium? The sacrifices and courage or the shingles?